cockjockey's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Where do clams come from]

Women, can't live with them, can't kill them

To be honest, I saw the ending coming as soon as I saw that bloke turn up. But the animation was better than most professional work, and if this guy isn't doing professional work soon if not already I'LL EAT MY OWN ANUS.

[Rise of the MK: Part 4]

Give this guy a Knighthood. Regardless of nation.

I haven't even bothered logging in to vote for about a year, let alone review a movie. Normally it's simply not inspiring enough in relation to the effort. But this was fantastic, just at the point when I thought sprite movies were past it. Superb pacing, use of drama, use of music, and so inventive. Mario fans owe it to themselves to watch this.

[Super Mario Reloaded]

A work of art, sprites are once again cool

Considering the technical achievements here, the placement of this movie is an insult. It should be at least top 5. It's not only the greatest Mario parody to date but the only Matrix parody bar The Matrix Has You bothering with at all. And the only reason anyone bothered with The Matrix Has You was because of the sponge of Newgrounds, LF.

[Decline of Video Gaming]

I hate you, you bastards

You're sarcastic Brits who enjoy video games and witty jokes. That's where our simiralities end. You see, in one movie you've done what we failed to do in like six, while treading on scarilly similar territory to us (so much so, that no doubt the next person unfortunate enough to see one of our efforts will call us piss poor rip off merchants). I hope you all rot in hell for making me actually have to put some thought into the next project I undertake. Apart from that, nice one lads!
Saw the Matrix thing earlier, didn't realise you lot were in it til I came here, and now I have another reason to hate you because your bit was the finest part of that, too.
Bastards.

[The Return of Ganondorf]

hmmmm

How to get to #1 on newgrounds;
1. Be legendary frog.
2. Get a hat, and lots of little bits of paper.
3. On the bits of paper, write down names of popular video games that everybody likes.
4. Take your labeled bits of paper and put them into the hat.
5. Pull one out and random and then make a flash movie around it.
6. Make sure that the submission is suitable for all audiences so more people can watch it.
7. Repeat step number one.
8. Submit the movie.
9. Double check to make sure you got step number one right and that you're still legendary frog.
10. Wait ten minutes and check the portal. If it is number one, congratulate yourself!

Good movie, but it's of the ilk that I could watch on TV. I prefer the more obscure messed up genres that you'd never see on television, that's the point of the portal to me. Having said that this was very enjoyable, and I'm a big fan of Zelda (or the Legend of ZZzzz as Paul calls it) so I can't complain really. Good job.

[Super Rambo Bros.]

This is so fustrating

People fall into three categories on newgrounds. Those annoying all rounders who can animate, do voices and come up with the most magical of ideas for movies, the ones who can animate but aren't inspired enough to write great movies, and those who want to write and direct but either can't be arsed to animate properly or just simply don't have the aptitude (the latter being me). You my friend, fall into the second catagory.
You have a great talent for making beautiful moving images, but without wanting to sound rude, your plots aren't quite up to scratch, standard NG fare but nothing exceptional.
I have the opposite problem. Have a look at my stuff and see what you'd think about helping out on Barney 2 or Get Metal Gear 3. It'd be great to have someone working on our stuff who can actually do the visuals right.

Kilgayne responds:

actually, this one was just a test (or whatever we may call it) to seek the best style for my flashs. Stay tuned for the 2nd episode, the scenario will be A LOT better than this one.

[Metal Gear Solid Stick]

Imagine Pee Wee Herman had directed LOTR

instead of Peter Jackson.
I'm so fucking sick of stick men it doesn't even bear thinking about. You clearly have an idea of how to animate, so put it to good use. Stick men only work when done exceptionally well, ala Xiao Xiao. Any half assed efforts end up looking like an even cheaper version of stickdeath and half as funny to boot.
As for using Eminems Guilty Conscience as the background music, it just made the whole thing seem tacky and generic, it may as well have been linkin park or papa roach or any of the other angry white boys out there raking in surburban cash. Devoid of intellect or imagination, but you DO have potential. It's just a shame everyone else on this site will be far more harsh and this movie will probably be blammed before the day is through. Which really is a shame, because with the right encouragement you could do well for yourself.

[One Ring to Rule ThemAll2]

This is why I don't watch TV

Blanchette is a genius. This whole movie just reeked of genius and had that Faulty Towers quality of having something happening all the time. This guy can really do no wrong. And the British accents are far better than the American accents we've ever musted up.

[Outsane!]

nice

I got some serious deja vu watching that Barney bit. Ironically, I made a Barney parody not all that long ago because I hadn't seen enough of him on Newgrounds. I guess he's like buses.
Good effort man.